The first 12-weeks guide
What’s normal, what’s not, and how to gently lay the foundations for better sleep.
Let’s be honest, the first 12 weeks with a new baby can feel like one big blur. Between the cluster feeds, contact naps, and wondering if you'll ever sleep again, it’s easy to think you're doing something wrong. You’re not.
This phase is messy, magical, and exhausting all at once and totally normal.
But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck in survival mode forever. With a few gentle tweaks and a bit of understanding about what’s going on developmentally, you can start building healthy sleep habits without the pressure to sleep train.
Here’s what sleep looks like in the first three months and how you can support your baby through each stage.
Weeks 0–6: The Newborn Blur
This stage is all about survival for you and your baby. Their circadian rhythm isn’t developed yet, melatonin isn’t being produced, and feeding drives nearly all of their sleep.
What to expect:
• Sleep is totally inconsistent
• Stretches are short, anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours
• Day/night confusion is common
• Contact naps are normal (and needed!)
• Feeding often = sleeping often
How to support them:
• Don’t stress about routines yet, just follow their lead
• Offer naps every 60-90 minutes of awake time
• Keep lights bright during the day and dim in the evening
• Use white noise and swaddles if your baby tolerates them
• It’s okay if most naps happen on you; that’s developmentally normal
Weeks 6–9: Early Sleep Shifts Begin
You might not see big changes just yet, but behind the scenes, your baby’s sleep is becoming more organised. Around this age, melatonin production begins, and their body starts to recognise the difference between day and night.
What’s changing:
• Circadian rhythm starts developing
• Longer night stretches (3–5 hours) may appear
• Sleep becomes more responsive to light, noise, and routine
How to support them:
• Introduce a short and predictable bedtime routine (5–10 mins is plenty)
• Try offering naps in a dark room with white noise
• Aim for naps every 1h30mins of awake time
• Start putting them down drowsy-but-awake once a day (only if you want to!)
• Treat any wake-up before 6 am as a night wake, not morning
Weeks 9–12: Time to Gently Shape Sleep
Now we’re in the sweet spot. Your baby’s sleep is becoming more predictable, sleep pressure is building, and those long stretches at night might start appearing more regularly. It’s also when habits (and sleep associations) begin to form — so how your baby falls asleep now might become their go-to strategy.
What to expect:
• Bedtime starts to matter
• Patterns may emerge (but won’t be consistent yet)
• Catnapping is still normal, sleep cycles are short and shallow
• Sleep associations are forming (rocking, feeding, patting, etc.)
How to support them:
• Create a consistent bedtime between 6:00-6:30 pm
• Stick to wake windows of 1h30-1hr45 minutes
• Aim for at least one nap a day in the bassinet or cot
• Keep the sleep space dark, calm, and boring (babies sleep better in caves!)
You don’t need to sleep train in the first 12 weeks, but you can start laying beautiful foundations that make things easier later on.
And if your baby is waking frequently, catnapping like a pro, or only sleeping on you, you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just parenting a tiny human who’s still figuring out how to sleep outside the womb.
Gentle support now can make a big difference later, without tears or stress.